Redfin Real Estate asked relationship experts for tips to help couples in searching for a first home or apartment (full article link below). The Friendship Upgrade outlines the danger of retreating into a bubble of couplehood and neglecting the ongoing development of your individual interests and friendships. My responses reflect the importance of continuing to honor and retain your separate identities as you forge this exciting next stage of your life together.

This is not an all-inclusive list but simply a few conversation starters to build upon. For more tips from others in the relationship space, check out the full article on Redfin.

1. Layout of the square footage: Consider how well the defined spaces will fit your unique needs. Do you want to encourage overnight guests or fall back on the “no extra room —sorry” excuse? And while merging your lives into one beautifully-appointed, amenity-rich rental can be thrilling, the long-term health of your relationship will be enhanced by preserving some degree of personal space for recharging and maintaining the individuality that first drew you to one another.

2. Past Experiences: Expectations are one thing, but dialing it down to what worked and didn’t work in previous roommate situations will make it real in essential ways. Perhaps splitting a pooled food budget has worked well in the past but shared laundry loads shrunk patience along with a favorite sweater. Discussing details now is the best way to prevent future disappointments and disagreements.

3. Future Goals:  Is debt payment, child support, or further education part of the picture for one or both of you? Give your responsibilities and future goals plenty of financial breathing space. Also, if you anticipate a future home purchase together, consider spending less on your rental and diverting the difference into a separate downpayment fund.

Read the full article here: 15 Expert-Backed Tips for Selecting a New Home With Your Partner

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